"You're okay...you're okay lady...open the door...come on...you can do it." These were the first words my brain was able to focus on after crashing my car yesterday. Hours went by...waiting in the ER...trying to replay the actions of the day in my mind. "What happened?" Catherine (who I know call my Irish Mom)...a team member...stayed by my side constantly...holding my hand. I don't care how old you are...when you are hurting and far away from home...you need your mother with you...so Catherine was a great fill in.
Yesterday morning around 9am, myself and my roommate Julia were heading to work. It had snowed the night before but the roads in town and even leading to Lacken House (country roads) seemed clear. Then we came to a top of a hill...and it was if the conditions went from black to white literally...snow covered everything. I remember saying "How beautiful is this?" The next thing I remember is the car was all of the sudden out of my control. I felt the steering wheel slightly turning towards the on coming traffic...so my instinct was to pull away from that. There was what looked to be a mud embankment to my left...so rationally thinking...and you seem to do a lot of that in that type of situation...I thought..."It would be better to hit that then the car"...so I slightly turned the wheel towards the embankment.
Silence and slow motion...just like they say...came about in the car. My roommate said she remembered seeing the embankment and thinking "We are going to miss this...we are going to miss this" and as we got closer...she knew that we were bound to hit. In an instant we slammed into the wall...where mud fell and gave way to the stone wall hidden behind it. I remember it being a very loud noise as we went up on the wall...and then all of the sudden I felt the car become lighter and I realised the car was turning. Here is what the human brain thinks in times like this...or mine anyway...as the car is turning on it's side (my side) I think to myself..."Okay...I won't be able to get out of this door...so I will need to crawl out Julia side". Funny looking at that now...that I wasn't thinking...CRUD...I am in a car that is flipping. No...just logical for me please! :O)
Suddenly I looked out through the now upside window and saw tires coming towards us. I was praying...please don't let us hit these people Lord. The next thing I knew the car came back upright and stopped...just feet before the on coming traffic. I write this now...and just can't express enough thanks to God...that we did not hit those people. He really was looking out for us and them! When we rolled over I remember hitting my head against the frame of the door...but didn't feel anything until much later. (ended up with a mild concussion)
So the next thing I knew...I was at our morning staff devotions (co worker picked us up and brought us in...we thought we were fine)...still in shock I think...crying...and people praying over us. It was really sweet. Then I remember PAIN hitting....headache...nausous...dizzy. My roommate was having pains as well...so off to the Emergency room we went.
I don't remember much from that...I had a slight concussion which made my memories a little fuzzy. They omitted me over night for observation. I do remember two doctors telling me they thought I might have a fractured vertebrate in my neck...which THANK GOD...was not the case...just a nice sprain. So I am a bit sore and have been told to expect to be more sore over the next couple of days. The awesome thing is that one of my neighbors is a physio therapist and has already been over to make sure I am doing my exercises!
What did I learn out of all of this? Two things: Our Father is always there...and the need for HOPE in this country. You see...last night as I was in a foreign hospital...I was feeling quite low and wishing for anything to be back in the states. My room was one big open ward...with no doors...and about 16 beds in it. As I heard the moans and groans of the people my emotions subsided for myself and I began to think back to how I saw these people earlier in the evening. They were two ladies...probably in their late 80's across from me...chanting and praying with their rosary beads. One lady was so scared...and said to the other doing her hale Mary's..."If they give mass...we should go." It was so sad to watch these frightened little old ladies going through ritual after ritual...when our Heavenly Father was right there waiting to listen to them personally.
I was taken back to the verse the Lord had given me when I cut my hand and was in the hospital (when I first moved here...yes...I am becoming a walking disaster)...."Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows." (Luke 12: 6-7) It was a comfort for me to know that He knew I was in the hospital...lonely and missing my family. He also knew of those two sweet ladies...and the fear they had. He is such a personal God...ready and willing to hear us when we call. It just reminded me again why I am here...to help others feel hope.
It was after that...I begin to talk with those around me. Next to me was a young scared 16 year old girl while across the way was a single mom who was missing her son terribly...and another single mom...who had just been diagnosed with MS. I began to tell them about what I am doing here...people are very keen to know what an American would leave the States to come to Ireland. I told them we are here to tell people about Jesus and what He did for them. They thought that was "nice" and went on about their business...but the young girl in particular began to bond with me...then the french lady...soon they were coming over and asking "are you okay...is there anything we can do for you?" I was tyring to be strong...but the pain had now fully kicked in. Even though there was pain...it was a blessing to be able to reach out to these young women. There IS HOPE...His name is Jesus. He is always there...even when you feel so lonely...don't give up...call upon HIM and HE will answer.
Thank you for all your prayers and support...I am so thankful I am here...even if I do keep hurting myself! :O)
Pictures coming soon...my other roomie took some pictures at the accident spot. Little Lu Lu is in the car hospital as we speak!
