Dear 2010...

Me and my love on our wedding day (Feb 20, 2010)

Me and my love being commissioned to our work in England

Me and honey arriving in England to celebrate our first Easter. "Because He lives, I can face tomorrow..."

Getting settled in married life and getting involved in the community. Excited for what God has in store!

Started to feel unwell...and had to cut back from working. At the same time dealing with some very real hurts from the past. Thank you Father for allowing me to learn to forgive and that you are still teaching me this!

In the thicket of my illness...but such a sweet walk with the Father! He was always there.One day in particular as I was crying out to Him to help me feel better...I felt Him saying "You are my child and I love you". It was like a wave of peace had come over me....and it was what I needed to get through that day!

Bella entered our life...such a blessing from God! And yes...this is the kitty I would "talk to" on my loneliest days...she was a good listener! :)

Me and my love celebrating my remission. Now we can eagerly look forward to what God has in store for us. We feel so energized and on FIRE for Him!

Peaceful-happy to be coming out of what seems to have been a storm... and looking forward to 2011!

There is a song where the chorus goes like this: "Joy and Pain...Like Sunshine and Rain". If I had to only pick two words that described you 2010 it would have to be "Joy" and "Pain". In some ways I am sad that we are about to say goodbye but in other ways I couldn't be happier!

You have brought me incredible joy with the uniting of me and my love J. But you have also have brought your share of hard blows and intense pains. One in particular...even over an unexpected illness...has been the deepest pain I have ever felt. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to make it and feel whole again...but then I think of the sovereignty of God.

God knew what you would look like for me 2010...and He never left me on my own. Reading journals I see His hand guiding me and softly speaking to me to let me know that He knew my hurts...and He was dealing with them. He also showed Himself true in leading us to the right paths. For that I am so thankful!

I must say that I have learned a lot...a lot about how things don't always seem fare and the fact that people will let you down, but also a lot about who I am in Christ...and a deeper rich walk with Him. I truly get what David is saying in Psalms 23...

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Father may we continue to be surrendered to your will...and experience joy through the pain...looking up to you in the midst of it all for the comfort, and love, and direction only you can give. Thank you for 2010...and I am now ready to follow you into 2011! Amen.

Reality Check for 2011...

Today I am staring out the window to a snowy wonderland. It has been snowing for the past few days...a rare occurrence this time of the year here in England. Each day the snow gets all sludgy with tire marks or shoe prints going through it. But through the night another layer drifts down from the sky...allowing me to wake to a beautiful new blanket of snow. Snow makes everything look so beautiful-and gives a "new" look to things.

I've been thinking a lot this week about having a new look...not so much with my hair or make up.. but more so with my "outlook". You see this week has been a week full of ups and downs...from meeting new people (which is always exciting to me as I am a people person) to having to deal with physical pain after a procedure.

As a matter of fact, this whole year has been full of ups and downs...from marrying the love of my life... to learning to forgive very deep hurts brought on by others...to struggling physically and emotionally through a difficult illness. So in many ways I can't wait for 2010 to be over and get a fresh new outlook in 2011. And let me just clue anyone out there that is wondering...my FAITH has never faltered and my walk has never been more sweeter than it has over this past year...to HIM ONLY be the glory!

I look forward to the next year with excited anticipation...but am also ready for whatever may come our way. According to the Bible we are not guaranteed a prospering life in our health, our work or anything else for that matter. Can God bless us abundantly in anyone or all of this things if He chooses...absolutely...but stating that He is obligated to do it as if He was a geinie in a bottle is not what the Bible teaches. Nor does it teach that if you don't receive good things...that your faith is not strong enough. In the words of Job..."the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!" -Job 1:21

So what ARE we promised then? We are promised that one day...for those of us that know Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior ...we will live for ever with Him in a NEW HEAVEN and a NEW EARTH. (Rev 21:1-5). (btw-reality check: salvation is the greatest gift and if He gave me no other gift than that...I am blessed beyond measure!) We will one day be free from pain and God will wipe every tear from our eyes. Talk about a fresh start! I look forward to that day, but in the mean time, I will still choose to praise my Heavanly Father...no matter what may come...good or bad in 2011.

The question to ask yourself: are you obligating God to do good things for you in 2011 or are you asking God to do good things for you in 2011...prepared either way to PRAISE HIM? There is a big difference in the two questions.

If you are struggling and find yourself on the "obligating" side (and I have to admit that I sometimes have done this)...ask God to forgive you and give you a fresh "newness" in His word that HE....no one else...not me...not some man who is great with words on TV...but GOD HIMSELF...that He will speak the truth of His Word into your heart. Only then can you really feel grace and have a fresh new look or "outlook". Did I mention I love snow???? :)